Learn to Avoid Barriers in Your Relationship

How I learned to Avoid My Barrier

It seems one problem many women have with their husbands is when they forget to put the toilet seat down. We have all been there! It always seems to happen in the middle of the night when you’re half asleep and need to use the bathroom. You muddle your way in the dark and sit down only to find your sitting on a cold clammy wet toilet bowl.

            Yes, it’s so frustrating! If you could teach your husband one thing this would be it. And, you swear on your life when you have a son, to make sure he learns to put down the seat. But, low and behold even though you did teach him to shut the lid, flush, and wash his hands at the time he was potty trained. He grows up, and all the training goes out the door when he goes to school.

Barriers in Relationships

            In reading this week, “Draw Heaven into Your Marriage”, by H. Wallace Goddard, PhD, I learned how important it is to learn how to not let little things, like not putting the toilet seat down, become a huge barrier in your relationship.

            Since, I grew up with two brothers that never put the toilet seat down, and found myself numerous times in the frightful state of ending up on the cold clammy bowl, I thought it would be an important thing for a husband to learn. This week I had to read the first three chapters of the book, “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” by John Gottman, and Nan Silver, and they explain about conflicts by stating;

He says most marital conflicts are never resolved, because they are rooted in the fundamental differences of lifestyle, personality, or values. This is why it’s so important for partners to understand the bottom-line difference that is causing the conflict – and learn how to live with it by honoring and respecting each other.

I’m glad early in my marriage, I decided this was not an issue worth fighting over, and I learned to make sure when I have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night to feel for the seat prior to sitting down. This way I avoid the shell shock that comes from sitting on the cold bowl.