Covenant Marriages

Covenant Marriage vs. Contractual Marriage

Many people do not realize there are two types of marriages; covenant marriage and contractual marriage. Bruce C. Hafen in the November 1996 issue of the “Ensign” magazine explains the differences as, “Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent.” These differences are due to the level of commitment to the relationship. The biggest problem with contract marriages is when troubles and problems arise both partners walk away. In a Covenant Marriage both partners work to solve the problems.

My Covenant Marriage

Before I married my husband, we both had decided we wanted to have a marriage where we would work through our differences to solve the problems that would arrive. My bishop wisely counseled us to make wise financial decisions by always paying a full tithe, and to save 10% of our income. I know poor money management is a major pitfall of too many marriages, and in following his advice we have been able to avoid money management fights/arguments.

The Wolves of Marriages

Brother Hafen’s article described three different types of wolves that come to marriages as:

1.      Natural adversity - trials that come naturally from living life.

2.      Their own imperfections – which everyone has since no one person is perfect.

3.      Excessive individualism – putting yourself before anyone else.

Even though I feel all three wolves are detrimental to our society, the third wolf seems to be tearing apart too many families. The divorces I have seen happen within my extended family all seem begin with one of the partners thinking only of themselves by putting their own needs and desires first. This is like a wedge being driven into the relationship, and as time goes on the wedge begins to split and break apart the marriage. To prevent letting a wedge into your marriage, we have to continually be thinking and putting others first. This will help ensure to keep our family woven together. Then, as every member of the family are putting their best effort forth the relationship will work out.